WAs a Lullaby

Many years ago my mother told me: "There is no backdoor out of marriage." She was right of course. Although my marriage at the time was indeed failing I could not find the front door. The isolation and loneliness I felt were deep seated. Years later I realized just what it is to be a woman looking back and grappling with the guilt, justified or not, of leaving a failing marriage. In fact, I had my cake and I ate it too. When something is to good to be true it usually is. Falling in love with musicians is nothing new to me.  I've been in love with a few in my time. The thing I kept learning was that falling in love with someone's music needs to be different than falling in love with them. Music is not enough to make love last. I always wanted to believe that it was. As I write this, different musical affairs come to mind.  The one that began my thinking though is the one I wrote the song Was A Lullaby about.  He was a kind, gentle and young musician. We really should have just remained friends. The love in both his music and his eyes was very real, if not just enamored with me and my musical ability. I believed it to be love although it played out as mere folly. His father cajoled and encouraged us but in a perfunctory way. His mother was furious. And truly in many ways I was to blame and my apologies were forth coming. And as I always like to say when a bad affair produces music: "At least I got a song out of it." Cheers to love and music.

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