Loving my day job as usual. Thinking about Starr Bray and how grateful I am that she didn't want this job anymore. I stepped in as a manager here at a lovely Air B'nB in my home town. I've been working and running this place since 2015. Starr died over a year ago. She witnessed the beginning of this international virus may-lay from her hospice existence after facing brain and lung cancer that became apparent in the summer of 2019. Within eleven months she had died peacefully. I feel comforted by her on many occasions. We became friends in 1998. Her daughter was four or five and her son was not yet born at the time. She did some really powerful spiritual things as she prepared to depart. Her brain cancer really changed her awareness of life and she was deeply affected by the spirit world even before she began grappling with a shortened lifespan. As we near the Samhain holiday, also known as All Hallows Eve I think of the song I wrote on the last day I saw her and said farewell. I asked her to please be on the spirit side when I pass. Meet me there. Greet me there. I will post the song lyrics when I get home today from work. I love you Starr Starr.
So I have to confess I've been hanging out with a Russian. And the reason I feel compelled to call it a confession is that my last post was all up in the communism mentality. Having compassion and empathy both for historical details from a Russian born person has not been easy. I am stunned by how the history of Russian has affected generations of beautiful people from a rich Christian culture. There are things I just don't want to know about what people have survived in countries that have been taken over by the value systems that drive communist ideals. I once had a young music student who's mother was born and raised in Russian. She would drop her talented daughter off to study guitar and voice with me and we would engage in simple conversations about life and all that she was doing. I was impressed deeply by the moral integrity she showed in relation to her husband. The Russian people are incredibly loyal, especially the women. Marx and Stalin. I am just beginning to learn about how and why so many people died in a genocide. Anyway, Russian violin is amazing.
There are many things to notice about the slow, precise destruction of culture as it is absorbed into Marxist communism - namely that the people begin to lose their will to live. They envy the dead for not having to witness decline. Little by little the vestiges of a reckoning reality begin to dramatically shift as business's close and people's rights to pursue life decline. The dust of many established societies have come, flourished and failed before the people of the world. History repeating its self before our dying eyes. The people begin to lose the will to live as in quiet moments of subdued disbelief they get their strength up to try to hope that all will be well just to see more failure. The people begin to lose the will to live (that is part of the plan as people don't fight) as it gets harder and harder to survive. Until one day broken and battered by the system they succumb almost willingly as they are corralled, broken from their family and friends. Maybe they extend a hand of ancient hope to someone nearby but in the end they are buried in a mass grave of flesh and bones. Their freedoms but a memory that no one can recall.
Traveling around with amazing musicians these days has really improved my experience of life. Forever at Last was staged at this local Burning Man event last weekend on the grounds of Camp Wilani. When I was eight years old or so my mother dropped me off for summer at Camp Wilani. It was my first camp experience with horse back riding, archery, song circles around the fire pit and being alone socially with other girls and boys my own age in a bunk cabin with group meals in a big mess hall. Anyway, I had not anticipated that I would have memories as I had no idea that the event was located on this property but it was wild psychologically for me. Turns out the guy running sound also went to camp there when he was young and we talked about locations around the property. Havenroot Reverbia Camp was pretty cool. It is what they call: The Oregon Burn. I am going to post some links on Youtube and I'll put those here soon. I am singing with a world class guitarist from Lost at Last named Priyo and a famous Russian violinist named Natasha Popova. I just sang with them publicly for the first time this past Saturday. We embark on a tour South for two weeks at the end of October with four dates booked so far. If you want to hook us up with venue stages please be in touch. I am feeling blessed and also it is a strange time to invest in concepts of the future because truly we are just right here right now. My ambitions are morphing as I let go of who I thought I was. God bless us all.
It sure is easy these days to get slung into the cognitive dissonance of media. Whether Facebook, Youtube, mainstream news, even self help stuff can really throw us into a place of mental and physical distress. We are coping and accepting of all of this. It is possible to break away. Forcing myself to look away from the push of absolute totalitarian fear mongering. Reality is mutable. Slip the search into Carlos Nakai flute music. Light candles. Hot shower it up. Sip tea with honey. Consider the myriad gratitudes you hold dear. That list is endless. We can be grateful for it all because after all it is LIFE. Precious and dear life. Walk outside. Breathe the airs temperature. Note the moon. Thrill at bird songs. My point is this: we can fight it by surrendering to our REAL life. We can raise our vibration. And remember no matter what, our lives will end someday. Maybe on our knees at a check point. Maybe at our own front door. Be in faith. Be in love. Breathe. Braid your hair. Call your family. Love your near and dear. Write hand written letters. Narrow it all down to gratitude. Say thank you. Talk to those around you. Take care of children and make them laugh and sing. We are each alone in our reality. Bound by our own self will. Be yourself.
You are really in good fortune when you have a great person you work for otherwise known as a boss. I am grateful to be my own boss as well as work for other people. Back in the old days a boss would do well to support the health of the employees. Whether by providing health insurance or giving paid days off. I was recently sick with quite the flu bug and my boss made sure I was not worrying about money. She wanted to support me and my health as I was using herbs, vitamins and minerals to overcome my sickness. It really makes a difference to take care of your good employees. I love my job because I get to use artistic skills and create a home environment for guests from all around the world. The biggest gift my boss gave me was the reminder to be in a mental state of gratitude through the illness. I looked directly at the evening sun and as I writhed in pain I meditated on being grateful for my life in all the myriad details I could muster. Natural immunity was created by my endurance and I am a new and evolved human being.
So, there's this famous singer who is my uncle's best friend. I didn't meet my uncle for year's and I'd really like to know why. I didn't meet him until my dad died. After my dad died. I couldn't figure it out. The guy literally talked me through my dad's almost two years of hospice. Krimeny. When I met him I bought a very expensive bottle of wine...or I should say he bought since he got lunch that day after I picked him up at the train station in tears. It just wasn't fair that he didn't make it in time to see that sparkle in my papa's eye. Anyway. It is joyful none the less. I have this really cool set of cousins I hadn't known about and one looks just like me AND was born only one day or so apart from me. That is amazing. So this cool thing happened where yesterday I realized that I don't care if I am ever famous or if anyone hears me sing ever again. All but one person. My uncle's best friend. Here's a guy who has played all over the world for decades. How often does someone say: hey man, let ME SING FOR YOU. Like really sing. Like you all know I can. JUST for him. That's where I'm at. Although, I just remembered my mother's most recent words to me when I told her what a darn hard time I am having with my dad's death as I broke into tears on the phone she said: "Sing. Sing for yourself." And you know what? That's what I am going to do. Myself and my uncle's best friend. My name is Elizabeth Cable and I am a singer. (12 steps to recovery) It will be an Italian art song.
It's a good day to be moving and grooving for sure. As fall sneaks in through the backdoor of life beautiful love lifts us all up. Camping this past five days has been sublime and re-invigorating for sure. The new video will be up by the end of the week. "Mama in da Ganja" with cameos from nearest and dearest family. Learned some new techniques for living calmly. Feeling renewed in spirit. The Maple Tree is a lovely place off the Southern coast of Oregon. The wise woman of the Maple Tree answered my question of heart health with seven breaths and ashes to ashes strength. The presence of the great beyond is clear and subtle. Rest in peace to those departed souls & may they be ever present in our hearts and minds. Music Music Music!!!!
Daisy Daisy give me your answer true! What joy is the season with cool mornings, warm days and my thirsty garden. The sun arking more Southern and the moon almost full with a night full of stars all of THIS as life strives on. Irresistible healing! Balances being achieved through music, through work, through reading and through being present. Too much too soon? Too little too late? Nah. Tonight will be wine and roses with Afro-Cuban percussion and Italian guitar and voice. Such bliss. Ever present. Ever grateful. Skin un-penetrated by any sharp implements. Kissed by the sun's vitamin D. Resolve for the light. Night falls away. Revealed.
To make life easier I sleep on the outside of the bed. During the day I pour a glass of water and set it by the bed so I don't forget it. Water at night is such a comfort. I can remember the last time I slept through the night. I had extra pillows and it was a king size bed. Like floating in the dark womb it was. It was a week ago. The 'new abnormal' is that I wake up at night to catch my breath at least once. I am learning to slow my exhalation to calm my vagus nerve. If you don't know what that is basically it is part of the parasympathetic nervous system and it can be regulated by the amygdala and nature's fight or flight response. Humans need to feel safe or otherwise they are in a defense mode. It seems my anxiety is handled alright during the day but at night for some reason I face certain subconscious issues that dreams and closed eyes just do not seem to quell. Turns out singing is good for the vagus nerve which can be stimulated in the back of the throat and through yoga and meditation. Sing, sing a song! Sing out loud! Sing out strong! Sing of good things, not bad. Sing of happy, not sad.