Today was a weird one. My anxiety was through the roof. Luckily it coincided with my counseling session. My mom is on the brink of death and I am two hours away. There is nothing I can do and I can't stay there waiting. That just seems morbid. She is very comfortable and I hope to make another trip to be near her before she departs. The real blessing today was being with Jess and Nati. Women singing three part harmony on a 1,200 year old advent Christmas carol was just what I needed with tea, laughter and Momo my new cat. Now I am home after singing and playing music and pizza will be here soon many thanks to my husband. These days with all that is going on in the world and the shortness of late fall early winter I am beside myself. I want to relax. I want to be happy I do not want to worry. Is is possible to just go media free? To resist the draw of 'doom scrolling' as Jess put it today. (?) That is the question. Won't I be alright and have the same amount of living whether I am worrying OR NOT? Is there anything more to be done to prevent a war, heal those with Covid, convince someone of hard to find facts, help children have freedom to be innocent and protected? Is there something more? I must take care of myself and that means not letting news rattle my skull. Not doing it.
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AuthorMs. Elizabeth Cable Archives
December 2021
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