Oh hello again. I just want to say thank you. Thank you whoever you are. Thanks for wanting to see what I have to say. I appreciate that there are some caring folks out there in the world. That being said, I've been told by a few people, or  should I say, it has been pointed out to me on occasion that, and I quote: "No one cares." And the fact that I am writing this and you are reading this goes against that quotes cutting reality. 

Courage, I realized tonight, is that we are all, standing up against the sound of silence. By not being quelled or curtailed by energies that divide us.  By not being silenced.  By questioning and seeking truth to the best of our ability and within our own logic and our own reasoning. Courageous.  Taking on the care of our elders in their dying time. Stepping up against adversities that are driven by fear and justified by a choice in the hope that something has come to save people from the inevitable. Courage to recognize and not stand for insult in relationship to having a difference of opinion. Choosing to respect yourself and be as graceful as possible with people who you once thought loved and cared for you without conditions.

That's you.  That's me. We have more in common than the differences we choose to magnify between us and others. We are seeking the places and people who can support, uplift and believe in us. As we breathe into the changes that are happening around us we can feel courageous.  All of us. Each one of us. 

Here let me just step off of this little soap box. I've always loved that idea of actually someone standing on a soapbox to relay their thoughts. I come from a short line of soapers. My great grandfather was in the Chautauqua in Wisconsin during the Great American Depression.  He had four children and his wife, my great grandma Bernina died young.  He would proselytize while playing Hawaiian guitar and telling stories from the Bible that he would illustrate on a chalk board.  They were called Chalk Talks. It's interesting that my grandma Ella had these particular cheekbones that were called Cherokee.

Anyway. It is late and I am sleepy. My favorite musical time of the year is upon us currently and I have put together my very own quintessential holiday music binder with good old favorite songs.  One is twelve hundred years old. And yesterday I learned the song O Christmas Tree.  Oh my goodness.  Those lyrics are amazing. This book of songs is quite a mix.  Mostly songs I've grown up loving. I'm performing them both Saturday and Sunday. Doesn't matter where. I am excited to be absolutely present and sing from my heart for dear family as they prepare the holidays. Holy Days.  See, you can't stop Christmas.  The return of the Son I mean the sun. Be courageous. 

There I was driving up Jefferson Street. My stick shift always suggests 4th gear and I am always hard pressed to shift because I'm afraid I'll go to fast. This seems like an apt analogy for my life. So far it has been a brilliant day here on earth. The light is shifting and I put a fire into the fire place to warm things up in that deep way that only the ancient art of wood burning can achieve. The gratitude I feel for all things keeps me grounded in the moment at hand. Sitting here on the couch I am wrapped in a green crochet blanket that we found at a fabulous estate sale this past spring. I remember I was getting back into jewelry making and I had started selling things at the Free Speech Plaza Market. Among the many great things I got at this estate sale were lots of lovely beads and pieces of jewelry that I thought I would dismantle and reuse but I have actually come to love them as they are. Without going further into it I will say estate sales were heavy to visit but helped me in the grieving of my father's death in March. Losing ego and attaching to God's unfolding path is the only way through all of this.

Life on life's terms. A myriad of givens like: things will always change.  things will end. things do not go according to plan. life is not always fair. pain is part of life. people are not loving and loyal all the time.  When I loosen my grip on how I wish or want the story of life to unfold...when I stop taking things personally...when I realize it is really ALL out of my hands and I show up and I sing then all is well. I played or busked at the local Farmers Market here yesterday.  I played gentle songs, and political songs and covers and originals for an hour and half and I remembered who I am. Humbly I caught people's masked eyes and I could see joy. Then I joined Priyo and Gyspy Moon in a coast concert in Florence and we did the limbo twice!  I limboed my boobs right under that limbo stick while playing rhythm on a ago-go.  How did I miss the limbo in my life until now? I saw an old flame who asked me if I was married...which is always a nice compliment. But most of all I let life unfold. "Let life unfold, that's all there really is. Compromise out  of love to give all that you can give." 

Photo by Erin Daniels

I imagine everyone is really doing the best they can with what they know. Don't you think so? It is definitely time for tea here in the morning on a Saturday in November of 2021.  Unseasonably warm here as we wind down to the end of the current calendar year. Breathing deep and working on music and homesteading. Making it through each night of sleep as I seek rest. Life is a one day at a time kind of deal. Water is on the stove. Tea forthcoming. I was living in Santa Cruz in the 1990's, coming back to Oregon every year to attend a local fair in the woods. The bass player I was working with at the time, Marc Cirovic lived with a famous bubble guy named Tom. Tom lived a calm and eclectic life that included the pattern of morning tea done right. As I just poured hot water over my tea bag I recall, as I always do when I brew a cup, that Tom taught me one morning to put a timer on for five minutes for the steep. Years later as I recounted this story to him he told me that he now steeps for only four minutes. Drinking a cup of Downton Abbey tea that my friend Amy gave me last year for my birthday I ready for a trip to 5th Street where one of the last Farmers Markets of 2021 is happening. As we usher in the new year may we all remember the good old days. 

How joyful it is to be alive. What an amazing time we live in yes? As the seasons change and our most treasured experiences are happening in nature I realize just how divine and perfect it all is. The leaves, the neighbors, the birds and really each and every breath. What a true excitement I have everyday as I venture out into the beautiful world. Today did not disappoint nor did yesterday or the day before. Real life is tremendous. There is everything to gain from being in this garden of eden. My steps will always be in the real grass. My senses are and will be alert, alive and real as I listen to the birds sing as they sit in the trees and fly above in the skies. The real world, the real environment is at hand. Seek gratitude even when there is fear to feel. May your vibrations be in tune, the music of the ethers be yours and may you know how important it is for you and I and all of us to find our own graceful peace in mind, heart and spirit. I have been forgiving everyone for everything these days. No use in holding grudges and it makes me feel much better. Try it, you'll like it. Be stronger than the lures of the internet as it develops.  Keep your heels dug in. Save the last dance for me.

Sometimes after watching the filming techniques that different creators use on home spun Youtube videos I have come to see its affect on me with my creative thought process both in the real world and in imagining how I, myself, might make videos for Youtube. I have a channel and I do post videos on occasion.  Actually I often like to record music and then compile it with images that I have shot on one of my two cameras. Truth is though that sometimes I get so excited that it is difficult to go slowly. Slowing down is hard. I like to be uncomplicated generally. Life moves at a good place if I pay attention to what I am doing and enjoy it. The thing with video footage and music is that sharing what I produce gets me so excited that I am not always doing my best to edit to more of a state of perfection.  When I go back and look at videos from a year or more ago I can see how much I am changing as I learn. There are so many things to learn about both recording music from bpm's to creating loops, and balancing tracks and how to use software and real time lighting and capturing moments in a digital format and how to edit. These past two weeks I have shot a fair bit of video footage of autumn out on different farms.  Once my battery died and I didn't have any charged ones with me and various other things like forgetting to pack my small camera and seeing light through trees...and missing the shot...things that definitely slow down my creative process but not slowed down in the way I like. Yesterday we drove out and interviewed an elder man who owns 40 draft horses. It was amazing how fluid he was at guiding the big horses Suzy and Belle. I'll edit this week and see if I can record some new music tracks.  Thanks for staying tuned.  Love, Lizzie

Many years ago my mother told me: "There is no backdoor out of marriage." She was right of course. Although my marriage at the time was indeed failing I could not find the front door. The isolation and loneliness I felt were deep seated. Years later I realized just what it is to be a woman looking back and grappling with the guilt, justified or not, of leaving a failing marriage. In fact, I had my cake and I ate it too. When something is to good to be true it usually is. Falling in love with musicians is nothing new to me.  I've been in love with a few in my time. The thing I kept learning was that falling in love with someone's music needs to be different than falling in love with them. Music is not enough to make love last. I always wanted to believe that it was. As I write this, different musical affairs come to mind.  The one that began my thinking though is the one I wrote the song Was A Lullaby about.  He was a kind, gentle and young musician. We really should have just remained friends. The love in both his music and his eyes was very real, if not just enamored with me and my musical ability. I believed it to be love although it played out as mere folly. His father cajoled and encouraged us but in a perfunctory way. His mother was furious. And truly in many ways I was to blame and my apologies were forth coming. And as I always like to say when a bad affair produces music: "At least I got a song out of it." Cheers to love and music.

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Thank you thank you thank you! It really seems to me lately that things are changing for the better. A veil is lifting in reality.  Joy is abundant. Gratitude defeats fear. And love can be felt in the heart.  Life, it seems, is a matter of frequency, light and vibrations. Stunning resonance is becoming so incredibly present.  We can feel it all around us during waking and sleeping. Just the other night I dreamed that I kissed an old boyfriend of mine.  And then I drove two hours to see my mom, right by his old house and remembered that I had that dream. It was literally just the next day. Just now when thinking about it I can understand that there was closure for my heart in my dream. We get what we get with people. Practicing sheer gratitude and forgiveness is blessing my life daily. We are all right where we are supposed to be in God's plan. Light is shining and casting out darkness. I mean all of this on a very personal level. I cannot assume that you the reader has this same experience that I am having in life. I can say FOR SURE that because I am rising to the responsibilities of creating reality and that I am no longer allowing base low fear vibration that comes with fear (and anger) I am far happier in just a matter of days. I am choosing to be safe.  I am safe.  I have actually always been safe. Inside and outside. I feel that everything is okay.  It is all good. I am safe and comfortable. My child nature and my wise elder self have come together in peace and in harmony. 

Last weekend when I was in Florence, Oregon for a performance I met a young woman named Molly. Her mom was in a wheel chair and was present for the whole three hour show.  She drank red wine and seemed enthralled by the Italian flamenco guitar and Russian violinist not to mention my Spanish songs. She hand wrote a note to me about singing a ballad but it was late into the performance and my stage time was over. I went outside and met her daughter and smoked a couple drags off of her clove cigarette for old times sake. I was delighted to know her name was Molly because my favorite dog from my childhood had that same name. I called her Mo Mo.  She was a poodle Pomeranian and died when I was 18. She will always have my heart. I recall that when my parents were divorcing in 1978 or so Mo Mo once licked the tears from my cheeks to try to help make me feel better. I dreamed shortly after she died that she was on the beach below a cliff near where my mother lived off of Elizabeth Street. She was swirled into the sand and at peace during a brilliant dreamy sunset. And actually she is laid to rest right there near the house underneath a pink rhododendron bush. So it was nice meeting Molly and seeing my brother and sister there in Florence.We go again for another performance on November 13th.

Loving my day job as usual. Thinking about Starr Bray and how grateful I am that she didn't want this job anymore. I stepped in as a manager here at a lovely Air B'nB in my home town. I've been working and running this place since 2015. Starr died over a year ago. She witnessed the beginning of this international virus may-lay from her hospice existence after facing brain and lung cancer that became apparent in the summer of 2019. Within eleven months she had died peacefully. I feel comforted by her on many occasions. We became friends in 1998. Her daughter was four or five and her son was not yet born at the time. She did some really powerful spiritual things as she prepared to depart. Her brain cancer really changed her awareness of life and she was deeply affected by the spirit world even before she began grappling with a shortened lifespan. As we near the Samhain holiday, also known as All Hallows Eve I think of the song I wrote on the last day I saw her and said farewell. I asked her to please be on the spirit side when I pass. Meet me there. Greet me there.  I will post the song lyrics when I get home today from work.  I love you Starr Starr.